A great, tainted memory.

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I had tears in my eyes.

Tears.  From a game, a sport.  No, they weren’t gushing down.  But they were there.  They were definitely
there.  David Ortiz had just hit a bomb to win Game 4, and there was
hope.  Hope that a comeback may happen, that one may occur.  It was the
greatest baseball memory of my life.

Still is…

But then this.  It comes out that David Ortiz used a performance
enhancing drug.  Which PED you ask?   Well, apparently even he is
unsure.

But come on, Ortiz used, and most likely cheated.  It stinks, but it’s simply reality.  And reality can suck sometimes.

But that comeback, that aforementioned comebackIt happened
The feelings were real, and they can not be taken away.  Sitting in my
recliner, by myself, watching a team on the brink of elimination.  The
improbable had already happened.  The best closer the game has ever
seen, Mariano Rivera, had already blown the save.  Something in itself,
that was remarkable.

Skip forward to the 12th…

Ortiz steps to the plate, one on, nobody out.  The pitch…It is gone!  Outta here!  Game Over!  A game 5 will
be played.  Those tears start to form, they try to run.  I won’t let
them.  But this was the greatest moment that I had experienced in a
long time.  A long time.  And it was only game 4.  Game 4!

But it is all tainted now.  I know, I know, everyone used.  Players
from every team used.  I get that, I really do.  But I can’t ignore
addressing what happened, and whether or not it would have happened had
a certain substance not been involved in the equation.

We all know what took place next, for it is history.  The Red Sox
took the next three games, in the most dramatic fashion of any sporting
event I can recall.  Knocking off the juggernaut Yankees, tearing down
a wall which was almost completely up just a few days earlier.

But now I have to question it all.  I can say that so and so used,
and so and so cheated, and so and so was cheating while facing Ortiz
and/or Manny.  But I cannot honestly say to myself that it would have
happened without steroids.  I can’t sit here and lie to myself
that it doesn’t matter.  And this is coming from a guy (me) that just
isn’t surprised.  Not surprised really at all.  I always defended the
guy, and even pointed out reasons to defend him as a clean player.

Like, the fact that his best years came right when he turned 27. 
That his prime was a possibility as to why he broke out.  That Ron
Jackson found a flaw in his swing.  That he was batting in front of
Manny.  Etc, etc, etc.

Maybe all of those variables played a part in Ortiz all of a sudden
“learning how to hit.”  Maybe they didn’t.  But everything feels
strange now.  Everything does in fact feel “tainted.”  I have to
question, seriously question the most important thing to ever happen to
me in the sporting world.  And by most important, I mean that nothing
even comes close.

David Ortiz was is and was that fun loving character that was the
largest reason that the Red Sox won that World Series.  He is like a
giant teddy bear.  A great big smile that lights up the camera, even
before the light actually turns on that camera.

But David Ortiz, apparently, cheated.  He used a substance that
seemingly aided his performance, seemingly aided in a World Series
title.

At least I have found solace in one aspect of all of this.  That a
team consists of over 25 players.  That a team does not win because of
one man alone.  And I know that some on that 2004 Red Sox team were
clean.  I know that they are winners regardless of this…

…But I also know that they won, in part, because of this.  Or so we believe…

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